The Crown of Ashes and Blood

Part XX Past, Present, and Future

I hadn't been to Ka’nar since I was a dustling, and it had changed a lot since then. Most of the slanted shacks and tents were gone. The people were building stone homes, like Seraphim, and instead of the open, dusty expanse between them, there were now proper paths. It seemed that some of the Ka’narians had even brought desert plants into the area, creating little gardens. I remember running through the dilapidated city with Kavi as dustlings, using dry sticks as swords. Kavi pretended to be a Ka’narian elite, and I played a marauder. I would sneak around, grabbing his stash of 'gems', which were just grey rocks, and then tear through the desert, laughing as he chased me. One time, he had this idea to go into one of the abandoned mines to hunt for real gems.

“I bet they left something behind down there, and then we can buy real swords to play with.”

“I don’t know, Kavi. I hear those old mines are picked clean.”

“Well, I know this one dustling found a ruby in one, and he had enough to buy an elite sword.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, he showed it to me. It had a snake carved into the grip for protection, and he cut down a huge cactus like it was nothing.”

“Oh wow, let me ask Papa if I can go.”

“No don’t do that, they won’t let us go in there. You can’t tell anyone Cavren, okay?”

I agreed, and when I got trapped in a cave-in, Kavi ran back to Ka’nar to get help. When our fathers asked if we had gone into the mines, threatening severe punishment if we had, Kavi got scared and lied, saying I took off without him. After three days trapped in the dark, I was finally found, dehydrated and frightened. I hadn’t talked to him since. Though he kept sending apologies through to Kazaki, and I kept tearing them up. Now, here I was with him again, in his home city, trying to help save his father, Kaspar, from the Seraphim attack. I wondered if I should have forgiven him sooner, how much time we had lost together, and I did not know if we would survive this battle. My father ever stoic stopped as the audible screams began to ring in our ears and the black smoke filled the streets.

“Dismount!” he yelled.

My mother ran to the front of the line where my father was standing beside Seesee. “What are you doing? You cannot mean to go in there on foot?”

“I am going to cut down Kreplar myself, by my blade, I will watch the light fade to black, in his belly crawling eyes.”

“Zareken tirrikken, sek nakar tassettat.” (My love and light, you are no longer young.) she pleaded.

“It is the honorable way to fight,” my father said, giving me a nod. “The beasts will intervene if we are failing. Ka’nar will not fall.” He looked to my mother, then to Blue and Riven at the rear. “You three care for the wounded. I hope to see you again, zareken tirrikken,” and he nuzzled her snout as though he was saying goodbye forever.

A lump formed in my throat. It was all my fault for talking about honor. I would be responsible for my father if he didn’t survive. Just then, a bloody elite came running toward us.
“Thank the suns you’ve arrived! They breached the citadel and have King Kaspar cornered. They’re demanding the crown. I fear if we give it to them, they’ll kill him anyway.”
My father’s eyes narrowed. “Of course they would. That’s how a coward fights, with lies and tricks!”

My father signaled to the Kazaki guards to swarm the entrance, while he, Kavi, and I would go around the back. Kade looked at us as he left with the other guards to fight at the entrance.
“For Ka’nar, my friends!” he waved enthusiastically.
“For Ka’nar!” Kavi shouted back.
I felt like I had already doomed us all with my big, stupid mouth. I watched Kade disappear into the thick black smoke, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was unraveling.

My mother was knelt at the frays of the battle, tending to broken limbs and bloodied bodies. The humans assisted her, though they all kept their distance from the fighting, clearly afraid. The beasts formed a wall in front of them growling and kicking their feet, eagerly waiting for the signal to charge if the battle was being lost. My father already had his blade drawn; his eyes focused as he urged us to follow him to the back of the citadel.
I said nothing. I just complied. Like a dustling. I followed orders without question.

I knew this wasn’t a good plan. I knew it wasn’t the fight we should be fighting. I couldn’t look at my father, couldn’t meet his eyes as I followed in his shadow. My father was now charging toward a battle I wasn’t sure we could win. And yet I kept going forward, each step feeling heavier than the last.

A gnawing sense of guilt churned in my stomach, knowing I had pulled the strings that led to this moment. If I hadn’t talked about honor. If I hadn’t insisted that this was the way, my father would not be leading us to a place of certain danger. If anything happened to him, or to Kavi... I could never forgive myself.

There was no turning back now. We were already inside.

Next- Part XXI In the Shadows